Back to school sales are wrapping up by now but getting stuck behind the school bus on your way to work in the morning is a sure sign that the school year is well underway. No doubt the flood of first day of school photos over the last few weeks from your friends on social media came with a painful reminder of your current fertility status. Although you may not be sitting in a classroom this fall with you head buried in books, you are on your own educational quest for answers when it comes to your fertility.
When I was a kid, I thought September marked the beginning of the new year. We’re bound to do more reflection and make more resolutions based on the academic year than any other time. You can sense the seasons transitioning and everything starting to change when summer concludes. Unlike with the traditional school year, the learning you do now is of your own drive and you get to decide what the curriculum will hold. Where is your life focus right now? If you are trying to conceive and having issues I imagine it is with trying to figure out what is up with your fertility.
In the struggle to have a baby there is so much to learn about your health in all realms – mental, physical, and emotional. Though where most of us fall short is that we only focus on the physical. While the mechanics of your reproductive system might be the obvious things that needs attention, failing to address the mental and emotional load of what you are experiencing will compound your fertility issues and prolong your journey. Mental and emotional health lead to physical health, not the other way around the way most people attempt it.
So to start out with understanding more about your fertility there are three things that I recommend you begin with to set you off on the right path for treatment.
Get curious. Become curious about everything that is going on with you in your body and everything going through your mind. The more curious you are the more questions you will come up with, and questions help prompt you to find answers. Also, when we are genuinely curious about what is happening we can keep going if things get difficult. Curiosity helps us overcome roadblocks.
Be vulnerable. Okay, okay, talking about your fertility can be uncomfortable, if you let it. We think we aren’t supposed to talk openly about the issues that surround fertility – sex, ovulation, hormones. We think that if everything magically happens then we never have to admit or talk about the experience of infertility. Meanwhile we are miserable and drowning in our own self pity. Be vulnerable enough to share with those you love that this is part of your life right now. If that is too much to take on, be vulnerable enough to seek out help with a coach or counselor to make sure you have support. Vulnerability leads to courage, an essential emotion for overcoming difficult things.
Take control. Many people struggling with infertility feel like everything is out of their control. That is not true. You are 100% in control of how you feel during the process no matter the circumstances that surround you. How? Because your thoughts create your feelings and feelings are just vibrations in your body caused by your thinking. Embrace that reality and things start to change. The way you think about your fertility is your own property to handle. You get to decide what it means to you.
Understanding your fertility and overcoming what stands in your way to getting pregnant is a resolution of epic proportions. But what I love best about autumnal resolutions is that no one else knows we’re in the process of making them. Unsuspecting because of the time of year and lack of confetti, September resolutions require us to be open to positive change. Change from within. Change from an emotional, mental, and physical sense. Change that makes us go after our dreams.
If you are ready get curious, be vulnerable, and take control of your fertility education now, download the Infertility Mental Health Checklist to get started.
