If your path to parenthood hasn’t been straightforward or easy, you’ve probably experienced fertility jealousy at one point or another. It runs rampant in the trying to conceive community. Especially when there is struggle involved. When someone else has something you want and can’t have, jealousy bubbles up. It is a common side effect of infertility.
How do you know if you’ve experienced it? Well…
If you’ve ever cried into your pillow because someone you know made a pregnancy announcement, you’ve experienced fertility jealousy.
If you’ve ever believed someone didn’t deserve to be a mother and you’d be much better at it if you were given the opportunity, you’ve experienced fertility jealousy.
If you’ve ever thought that you are losing and someone else is winning, that is jealousy at work. Every applied that to trying to conceive? That’s fertility jealousy.
All of these situations involve thinking another person is better off because they have something you don’t. Especially if they have achieved something before you, you think, “She must be happier than I am because she has the one thing that I want.”
If you want to feel fertility jealousy, you can. But know that you are choosing to.
Jealousy is an emotion, triggered by your thoughts. It is not something you must experience when trying to have your own baby.
But if by learning of someone else’s success, you interpret it as your own failure, then you are bound to feel jealous every time you hear about a pregnancy announcement or see a baby bump. You can choose to be jealous in those situations or you can choose to feel inspired by what is possible. Given all you’ve been through, how amazing is it that babies are conceived naturally at all? Think about it.
Her success has no bearing on your success. Ever.
Jealousy is a result of comparing yourself to another person. If you always do this with other people’s success and what they have, you will feel jealous. But, if you are competitive by nature and you compare yourself with your own results – wanting to improve every opportunity you get – then your competitiveness will work in your favor.
Didn’t conceive this cycle? Up your game and see what the next cycle brings. Fertility jealousy only works in your favor if you are comparing yourself with yourself. Become jealous of your own fertility accomplishments. That’s a gamechanger. That’s the only way it will actually work in your favor.
Jealous of someone that has already conceived and can’t seem to shake it? Talk to me. I’ll help you through it for free.