Infertility feels like a massive solo trek through the wilderness. You might have some idea of the direction you want to go but the trail map isn’t very clear. Neither is the path. And yet, you need to figure out how to navigate all of the right steps to get you where you need to be to achieve your goal of motherhood.

It would be amazing if there was a guide to help every person get to where they want to be. Because there is no simple solution that will work for everyone, you have to learn how to be your own guide.

This idea was revolutionary to me during infertility. I had to guide myself through it. I had to lead myself through it. Once I stopped looking for someone else to do it I could actually get to work doing that I needed to do for myself.

It is possible that up until infertility showed up your life was moving along with a fair amount of ease. It may have seemed simple to believe you were being guided through life somehow.

But alas, you’ve met the roadblock of infertility and now you don’t know where you are going. You don’t have a plan, or an idea, and the overall vision that you were after seems foggy. You’ve gone as far as you can see.

This is the moment to turn inward and tune in to yourself. Arrive in the present moment and stay there. The things you need to get through this journey – your intuition, you inner voice, your consciousness and your awareness are the greatest guide tools you have. Your job is to sharpen them.

Most of what life dishes out to us is more than enough fodder to help us develop these tools. However, we need to take on the role of student and leader. Being ready and willing to learn and cultivate those tools and then immediately turn around and use them is what will help us get through this chapter faster.

The problem is that most of the time we are not even thinking in this way. How many times have you told yourself you have the answers to your own problems? During infertility we are more likely to doubt ourselves and our intuition because we have been conditioned to believe that we do not have the answer. (If we did, we would have a baby by now, right?)

The truth is that you are learning and leading yourself through this life every moment you are on the earth. You are the guide that will get you through this wilderness and to the other side. You are the only one that will ever be able to navigate yourself to the life you want but you must accept the role of being your own guide.

The people you bring into your life, the teachers you allow yourself to listen and open up to, will make a world of difference if you are still looking for a way through infertility limbo. Pay attention to what you are letting yourself hear. Then pay attention to what you are telling yourself to do. You are the guide. No one else.