How Important Is Your Past To Your Future?

The past can seem benign and blissful for some and filled with turmoil and anguish for others. Which camp do you fall into? I would wager the latter if you have walked through any era of infertility. Regardless, most people can usually think of something in their past that irks them. Something that makes them wish it were different or that things had turned out a different way. I will hear my clients say that their past experience with infertility is shaping their decision about what they do next.

Not true.

You see your past is a neutral thing. Done and over. It doesn’t have the capability to influence you until you think about it and the only way it even exists is because you have current thoughts about it. That’s it. There really isn’t anything more to it than that. Your past is made up of your current thinking which is the only way it affects you now.

When you have a thought about something that happened in your past, then you have an emotional response. Maybe it makes you happy, or sad, or angry. Any of those feelings can come to the surface after you replay something in your mind.

But whatever thoughts are coming up for you, know they are always your choice. You always get to choose what story you tell yourself about anything. The same is true about the future. The only place the future ever exists is in your imagination. In the present moment, you can think about both but you are only ever having the experience of now.

Because your past is made up of your thinking and thoughts are always optional, it means you can change it any time you want. Think about the infertility story you are telling yourself now. How do you describe it? What words do you choose? Then, what feelings come up for you?

If you like how you feel when you think about the story, keep it. If you don’t like it, know that you can change it at any moment.

So how important is your past to your future? Not at all. When making a decision you’ll look to your past to gather evidence to help you but be aware of what story you craft around what has happened and how do you feel about it. It is all optional and your future can look completely different than your past. You always get to decide.

Ready to change your past? Schedule a free strategy session at to transform your story.

Share this post

Free Resource

Infertility Mental Health Checklist

Managing your mental health during infertility can be a challenge. With this checklist, you’ll learn nine tools to help you get through the struggle with your sanity.