Mother Envy Ruins Relationships During Infertility

Mother envy is very real during infertility.

You know the feeling that comes up when you go out in a public place and see women carrying around small babies. Or when you flip through catalogs that tout images of smiling young families. Or any every time you go on social media.

Or even when the mother on aisle five is trying to control her screaming toddler, you think “I’d give anything to have that problem right now. I’d give anything to have a toddler. If I had gotten pregnant when I wanted to I would have a toddler by now.”

Parents of toddlers would probably think you were crazy if you wanted to trade places with them at that moment. When a two-year-old throws herself onto the ground because she has been denied something at the grocery store, that is not a wrath most would willingly volunteer to take.

Except you do because the sting of infertility is so sharp that any situation that involves a baby or small child immediately reminds you of your infertility. The mother envy bubbles up and you want exactly what that woman has and the way she has it. You have mother envy, regardless of the situation.

The screaming toddler in aisle five isn’t annoying to you like it is to many others in the store because your mind isn’t focused on that. Your mind is focused on your own problem, your own story. But you are seething with envy.

While you may pay for your groceries and walk out the door, the feeling of envy never really goes away. It is there the next time you see another mother and baby or flip through a family magazine, or scroll through Facebook.  You haven’t been able to shake it on your own but it is now ruining your relationship with your sister/best friend/ coworker who is newly pregnant.

I get it and I know how to get through it. Let me help you get over your mother envy and move on in your life. If you are ready to do that, talk to me about it.

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