Most couples never discuss the topic of infertility. For them, it isn’t a part of their path to parenthood and it isn’t something even on their radar. Perhaps they have the assumption that the process will be easy for them and that they will conceive in the first month of trying? Perhaps they don’t know anyone personally who has struggled to have a baby and the thought of it being hard for them never crosses their minds?
Regardless of what lies ahead for your family building (none of us really know for sure!), here are a few reasons why all couples should discuss infertility before trying to conceive.
Hedge your bets. It is possible that you will encounter fertility challenges. One in eight couples experience fertility issues when building their families. Even if you appear to be in perfect health, there could be an underlying issue you know nothing about that will make conceiving difficult. Some infertility cases are attributed to easily identified medical problems or diseases, which depend on conventional medical treatment for success including medications and surgery. Other cases of infertility are due to lifestyle problems such as diet, overuse of alcohol, or using recreational drugs. If something is amiss with your lifestyle choices, infertility could impact you.
Better communication will strengthen your relationship. What happens when we don’t talk about challenging things? They never become less challenging. We never have the opportunity to grow and learn from them. If the topic of infertility never gets discussed at all between you and your partner it could be extremely difficult to navigate if you do end up facing fertility problems. Those conversations will come up regardless if you do end up struggling to conceive and most likely will have heightened emotions attached to them. Best to practice discussing and answering tough questions together now before it becomes an urgent issue.
Big decisions will blindside you if you are unprepared. With infertility, you need to make a lot of decisions and many of them require you and your partner to be on the same page. Most of us are not taught how to make decisions in our lives, let alone how to make big decisions with someone else. When we learn how to do this, and practice making decisions in our life, we are less likely to be slowed down by the fertility treatment process or indulge in negative emotions. Making decisions saves time in the long run. If you have made decisions ahead of time then you are less likely to be slowed down in your fertility process when obstacles are presented to you.
If you want to talk to your partner about infertility while you are trying to conceive but don’t know where to start, reach out to me. I can help you get the conversation off the ground.